I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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