Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
