i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
