Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize
