What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
