Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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