We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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