Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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