we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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