9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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