They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
