I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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