My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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