Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
