don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
