'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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