soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
