That's intense
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
