If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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