So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
