I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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