I love black thongs
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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