so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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