Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
