he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
