kristin has been a bad kristin
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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