She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
