if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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