the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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