I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was CRYING into my vagina
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize