we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
