you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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