I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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