no, he came in my armpit
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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