i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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