I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
