i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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