The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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