The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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