I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
