im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
