My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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