DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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