That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
