My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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