Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
