Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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