Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
