Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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