totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i think im in europe. pls send help
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
