you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
