its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
high people should be assigned attendants
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Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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