I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
