im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize