Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
