My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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