That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
